Writing in a Vacuum

I still remember the moment it first dawned on me that all I really wanted was to string words together for a living. Suddenly everything made sense. Why my English teacher loved me, but my history teacher didn’t… why the library was the closest thing to heaven on earth for me… why song lyrics made me cry. Words. It was all about words.

Armed with this revelation, I expected life to rearrange itself so that I could do what I’d been created to do – write. To my horror, the dishes didn’t wash themselves, laundry continued to pile up and my family kept eyeing me hopefully at mealtimes. Then there was the small matter of earning enough to do my bit to support our growing brood.

I’ll admit I threw some spectacular tantrums. Why me? was a common theme. I knew many stay-at-home moms who didn’t have a thimble-full of the vision and passion that I had, yet they had time on their hands – the one thing I didn’t seem to have enough of.

So I did life. I raised my babies, with all the wiping and washing that comes with them. I went to work and reconciled accounts, laughed and cried with colleagues. I danced and dug in the garden. I ironed through mountains of laundry that would crush small countries if piled in a heap. I wrote in stolen pockets of time, cherished moments of word-weaving made all the more precious for their rarity.

Years down the line I can see a truth that I couldn’t before – my writing is richer because my life has been full. 

Nothing thrives in a vacuum, but word-seeds germinated in the rich soil of life experience grow tall and strong, effortlessly bearing the message intending for the reader’s heart.

So if you are facing the frustration of not being able to write full-time, take heart! The real life you live will seep into your words packing them with oomph and gusto to transport your reader. As you embrace your life you will see your writing come to life!

Where are you at? Fitting in bits of writing in between, or able to spend as much time as you want? How do you manage when real life gets a bit too busy?

Dianne J. Wilson writes novels from her hometown in East London, South Africa, where she lives with her husband and three daughters. She is neck-deep in a three book contract for a YA series, Spirit Walker, with Pelican / Watershed.

Finding Mia is available from Amazon, Pelican / Harbourlight, Barnes & Noble and other bookstores.

Shackles is available as a free ebook from Amazon & Smashwords.

Find her on Facebook, Twitter and her sporadic blog Doodles.

Confessions of a Writing Mom + Giveaway

(Just to clarify, I'm giving away a book, not one of my adorable kids - sorry to disappoint!)

 I was recently musing on an old blog post I wrote about two years ago with this title. I had just started writing again after four years. I was now a wife and mother. I had two children at the time and this was my "confession":

~~~

I sit down and grab my laptop. My ten month old is sleeping and my two year old seems to be having fun with his cars.  Of course toys are everywhere, my kitchen is covered with random crumbs- both floor and counter-top, and the laundry is piling up. I probably should have done that yesterday. But here I am with fingers glued to keyboard, not caring what I write, so long as I'm writing!

As I write, a pile of clean diapers is forming beside me. Soon they cover the couch. I know I will have to deal with it at some point but at the moment all I can think is, "Good, he's happy!"

Then I smell "it" and I realize my time is up... in one minute, and I try to squeeze a few last epic words onto the page. Then, setting the computer aside before I get distracted again, I grab my kid, one of the many diapers - which may or may not be his - and head to his bedroom to find some wet-wipes.

By the time I finish with my lectures on the usefulness of the invention called a toilet - and how spider-man underwear is cooler than a diaper - I realize my daughter could wake up any moment! There is no time to spare. I race back to the laptop, talk Liam into listening to the "Piano Guys" without watching the accompanying video, remind him that it's still mommy's turn, open my word document, think about where I left off and what I need to say next, lay my fingers on the keyboard and begin to type. One word- two word-

Baby is awake.

It's cuddle time and play time. Diaper time, too. The clock soon reads somewhere between four and five. Within the next hour or so I walk around the house singing "A Spoonful of Sugar" all the time wondering how Mary Poppins got the toys to put themselves away!

No such luck.

If it's a normal day, dinner will be on the table and the house neat and somewhat orderly  by the time my sponsor/editor walks in the door. If it's a good day my hair is brushed and I'm wearing real clothes (as opposed to comfortable, fuzzy, super baggy "non real" clothes).

Either way, if a wrote something, it is a great day!

~~~

I probably enjoyed that flashback much more than any of you. Especially when I look at my present day. I now have 3 kids: a five-year-old, a three-year-old, and again, a ten-month-old. It's mid afternoon and baby boy is down for his nap! The other two are potty trained so I'm off diaper duty until he wakes up. Meanwhile, a pile of children's books form beside me - their to-read "list". We went to the Library this morning and usually come home with around twenty books. They spend the next hour or so looking at pictures and deciding what they want me to read.
Unlike two years ago, I need to do more than just write to make it a good day. I have a critique group and submissions to edit and get out to them. I have a manuscript due my publisher in a few months. More edits. More rewrites. I'm in a box-set this spring with other authors, so I also need my novella scrubbed and polished while learning the basics of indie-publishing. That's not mentioning the manuscript I want to get ready to pitch to agents this year!

How do I make it work? I'm not sure, but the following helps:

1. Put try to put God first. I try to read my scriptures first thing in the morning, and then picture book scriptures to the kids before I open my laptop. 
2. Put family next. In the evening, my husband. During the day, my kids. They come before writing, and I try to remind myself that constantly.   
3. Make time for living. In the summer, I set the goal to go to the playground with the kids every day. It didn't mean I couldn't plot, or even read a book, but making sure we get out of the house and have fun as a family is important. Right now we try to go to the zoo and library at least once a week. It gives me less time to write, but it's a greater investment. 
4. During the day if I'm not spending time with the kids, I am writing. Naps, when they are happily playing, while they are pouring over the books we just brought from the library, whether 10 minutes, or 30, I try to write or critique. The hard part is, I don't get to lock myself away in a quiet room to write. Kids are playing, asking questions, getting into mischief, and, in short, I've had to learn how to multitask.
5. This one just reiterates the last point. I don't clean during the day, or when the kids are in bed. So when do I clean? Same as two years ago, the hour before my husband gets home, I get dinner on the stove, dishes in the sink and the kids picking up their toys out of the big pile I just swept into the middle of the floor. Other than that, if it's not gross, a choking hazard, or going to be tracked all over the house, I don't pick it up until cleaning time and then I try to involve the kids as much as possible. 
6. No "TV" for the kids on an average day. The truth is, they could sit happily in front of the computer watching Curious George for hours, and it would be wonderful to use all that time for writing...but neither a monkey or a talking blue train get to raise my kids. The temptation is there, and I'm not giving in to it even a little because that track is too slippery. 
7. Making time for service and church. The Sabbath is great for this. Sabbath is about God and people. Church and service there. Family time. Time to recenter myself. As a general rule, I don't write.
   

When I first started writing again, I needed large chunks of time, and I was often too tired in the evenings. With the Lord's help, every ten minutes at my computer can count for something and I can be productive even when I'm exhausted. All in all, so far so good. My writing is getting done, deadlines are being met, and most importantly, my children and husband aren't getting neglected...too much. ;) We'll see how things go in the fall when I add homeschooling into the mix!

What have you found works for balancing your life and writing?

Leave a comment for an e-copy of the anthology, Dancing up a Storm, which includes my short

story "When I am Gone".

“When I'm Gone” by Angela K. Couch 
First Place Romance 
Summer 1942. Just before the competition that could launch their careers as professional ballroom dancers, Elaine Mathews’s partner, James Larson, gets drafted into the army. Now, with her dreams and the man she loves hanging in the balance, Elaine must acknowledge what she’s most afraid to lose.