I’d like to say I learned a lot in 2016. That it was a
stellar year that changed my life. That I’m eager to embrace the exciting new opportunities
God’s prepared for me in 2017. But I’m not sure that would be completely true.
2015 ended with two of our three sons unemployed and my
husband suffering a nervous breakdown while I silently battled depression. I’m
not one of those people who thinks a pastor’s family should be immune from
calamity but, for the most part, our lives had ticked along pretty smoothly—until
then.
God acted quickly on behalf of our sons. My husband,
however, got worse. Frighteningly worse. His three months of paid sick time stretched
into four months sick leave which morphed into indefinite long-term disability.
We turned 60 in 2016. We didn’t own a home, had no serious
retirement plan and, as a stay-at-home mom, I had no career for us to fall back
on.
James 1: 2-4 says:
Consider it all joy, my brethren, when
you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces
endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be
perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. But if any of you lacks wisdom, let
him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will
be given to him.
I think, for us, 2016 qualified as a trial. And as
unappealing as developing endurance sounds, our trial has done that in both of
us as we
- prayed for strength.
- prayed for God’s provision.
- prayed for wisdom.
- prayed for his healing.
God has come through on the first two in spades. I am daily
awed by the obvious plans He had in place—which I knew nothing about. His
leading has been gentle, gracious and complete.
He’s brought us to a new place—both physically and metaphorically—and
He’s meeting our needs with an abundance I could never have imagined.
I honestly don’t know why He is doing this for us when so
many people in this world struggle and suffer. And when I read what I’ve
written I am astounded at how dire our 2016 sounds because truly this ‘trail’ hasn’t
seemed that bad to me.
Perhaps it boils down to realizing this:
Trials are created to help us to grow faith and
fruit.
They’re not to make us braver, stronger, smarter. I might even
suggest they do the opposite because, at the other end of the spectrum from courage, strength, and understanding, where we
are uncertain, weak and confused, God is at His best.
In the midst of our darkness He is leading. What a marvel
that is!
Jayne Self writes mysteries as she tries to understand the mysteries of life.
You can visit her at: jayneself.com and Facebook.
Even as my heart aches for what you've been through, I also give thanks for you testimony that God brought you through. One step at a time is how we need to walk when we face times like this. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Ruth. I look forward to seeing you soon.
DeleteOh Jayne, I'm so sorry to read of your tough year and your husband's illness. I do love reading your perspective and how the difficult has helped you acknowledge your "weakness" and need for the Lord. And through this He has demonstrated His strength. It's a lesson for all of us.
ReplyDeletePraying for continued revelation and healing for your husband.
Thank you, Ian.
DeleteI empathize with both your year's trials and the gifts beyond understanding or expectation. May you both continue to carry the grateful memory of how you have been upheld while you thought you were drowning and may you celebrate all the great memories of your cottage life, for example, as gifts to polish and retain, because you HAVE had them. Prayers for all of your family. Unemployment is not fun, but I've found that it, too, can bring amazing insights and cause us to call upon parts of ourselves that we'd not truly explored, God-given gifts we are meant to use, with God's guidance
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Thank you, Patricia. My prayers have also been with you this year. God bless.
DeleteThank you so much for sharing from your heart. So sorry to hear about the difficult journey, but seeing God's faithfulness is an encouragement! Praying for God's continued touch and healing in 2017.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Lisa.
DeleteThank you for sharing. Sorry for all you've been through, but thanking God for His strength which saw you through. I pray God will touch you both in this new year.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Shirley.
ReplyDeleteYour words touched my heart, Jayne. These words especially stood out to me: Trials are created to help us to grow faith and fruit. They’re not to make us braver, stronger, smarter. I might even suggest they do the opposite because, at the other end of the spectrum from courage, strength, and understanding, where we are uncertain, weak and confused, God is at His best.
ReplyDeletePraying God's comfort and blessings on you and your family in this new year. God is good.
Thank you, Jan.
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