Monday, December 7, 2015

I Quit Writing

By Morgan Tarpley

So as this title reads: I quit writing.

It was actually over lunch a few weeks ago. This is the thing though. I can’t really quit. It’s what I do. It’s my passion. I have to write. But in regard to my current novel manuscript I had a quite direct message from the Lord to quit. So I did.

Wow, that seems so easy when I write it like that. And whoever is a writer out there (I know there are a bunch of you.) will understand this. Quitting writing is like stopping to breathe.
But it was the right thing to do because my writing had become a problem.

In recent weeks, my pastor has shared many amazing words from the Lord that have just hit me over and over right in the heart. Words that I couldn't stop thinking about even if I tried, and I tried.

That's what happens when the Spirit is pursuing you and in your heart you know that He's drawing you but in your head you're fighting it because it won’t be easy or comfortable or isn’t what you want to do.

Everything my pastor said had been what I’d been unintentionally running from for a long time—a call to die.

To give up all to God’s sovereign will and it was clear what I had to do.
God called me to quit writing. It was the death of a lifelong dream of mine, an utterly heart-wrenching decision that I’d never entertained before that moment. I did not want to give it up but I did it for Him. God had shown me that writing had become an idol.

You see being a published author of inspirational fiction is all I've wanted and worked for and toiled for, for over six years now. In this time, I've poured all my time and energy into writing conferences, reading writing books, re-working a manuscript and many times neglected study of the Word, serving others, etc.

I know that my goal of publication in itself is not wrong but the fact that it's been my sole focus and escape and, if you will, obsession for so many years now that it's become an idol, the largest one in my life. One that I held onto so forcibly with both hands and refused to let go.
I know that God may still have a plan for this desire to write for Him that has been in my heart all these years but it's not now and definitely not until my desire is for Him alone, until all that I wanted is far behind me because it doesn't matter at all compared to Him.

I want to be there. I know God wants me there, and I want to be where He wants me, blessing others, giving Him and them the best of my time and energy.
This is a hard time for me, but it’s also been an amazing, rejuvenating, peace-filled few weeks. But at my heart the story lingers to get back on the page. Not yet though I know.
At this moment, I believe this call to quit writing my novel is only temporary because I do feel that God will use my desire to write for him, just not now. I am waiting on the Lord, and there’s nothing else more important.

Have any of you “quit” writing before or done something drastic that you knew the Lord was leading you to do? Do you have any advice for me and/or others who are going through a similar time in their lives? I’d love to hear about it! Thanks and Merry Christmas to all!


Morgan Tarpley is an award-winning newspaper reporter and photographer in Louisiana. She is also a historical novelist currently seeking representation. Besides writing and traveling to over a dozen countries, her interests include acting in her local theater, genealogy, photography, and singing. She resides in Louisiana with her husband.

For more information about Morgan, visit her website (www.morgantarpley.com) and blog (www.pensonaworldmap.com). You can also connect with her on FacebookTwitterPinterest, orGoodreads.

4 comments:

  1. Morgan, well done. What a courageous step of faith. Surrendering our passions at the Cross is the hardest thing, isn't it! Hold close to the Lord as you work through your grief.

    The Lord will honour you for your faith. And you'll step into an even better season of writing. Or maybe not. But your heart will be more prepared for whatever He has in store. And what a season that will be.

    Keep praying and keep believing, Morgan.

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  2. Wow, Morgan. I am/was in the exact same place as you a month ago. I am just now starting to entertain the idea that maybe my current story is actually something worth trying to get out there...but I still have caution as I had made writing my idol for so long (on and off ten years...yikes!) Love this post. Blessings!!

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  4. Hugs, Morgan! Obeying God's commands is the best thing is the world, but oh boy, it can also be the hardest! We can trust that He will bless us for our obedience.

    I've had something similar this year. God showed me how I'd made writing and chasing financial success into an idol, and He has made me slow right down. I'm still writing, but it's had to move right down the list as I learn to focus on the other things He wants me to put first. Him, my marriage, caring for other family members.

    The only way through I know is to keep listening to God, keep trusting in Him, and allow Him to support You as He draws You nearer to Him. If it's His will for us to write for Him, we'll come back to the writing with a renewed joy and love and sense of service.

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