Hi, my
name is Christine and I’m a workaholic.
Like a lot of people, I work, work,
work...and work some more. For years I’ve hidden behind the old adage that “a woman’s
work is never done”. Or is it for many women, and men too, that we work a lot because
we like to?
I’ve
noticed something about men and women as they grow older—while men’s testosterone
levels drop, so too do women’s estrogen levels.
While husbands start to slow
down, become less aggressive in their careers, it can appear the opposite for
their wives. For many women their lowering hormone levels urge them to speed
up, grow more confident, downright assertive in many cases. How many ladies in their
forties, fifties, sixties start new enterprises, take up demanding
responsibilities in the community or their church?
At the
start of my fifties I began my long-desired writing and speaking career, and
while that was challenging, God gave me the strength to rise to that challenge,
and I thoroughly enjoyed reaching those long-sought-after goals.
Oh my,
I felt fulfilled. “I was woman. Hear me roar”, and all that stuff.
Meanwhile,
my husband began looking forward to his retirement.
Skip
forward with me fifteen years as my writing career started to gain some
success, I discovered how hard it was to shoehorn leisure into my schedule.
When was the last time I took a day off? When was the last time I experienced
some of the type of romance that I write about?
And
worse, I noticed that my dear husband was suffering from loneliness due to my
extremely busy schedule. The wrongness of that hit me between the eyes. Something
had to change.
Around
that same time I ran into two different sets of people. The first group of people
warmly reminisced about the camping holidays they shared with their spouses over
the years. The other group shared that quite recently their spouses had passed
away, unexpectedly, suddenly, and all these dear spouses were around the age of
sixty.
My
husband was sixty.
The
question echoed in my mind. What am I
waiting for? That week I talked my husband into buying a brand new little
travel trailer. He didn’t take much convincing.
On our
first trip in July we drove through the majestic Canadian Rockies, and at the
summit of Roger’s Pass I noticed a large artillery gun. I asked my husband why
on earth that was there, and he explained that avalanche control experts shot
artillery shells into the snowcaps to trigger avalanches to carefully control
the snows from building too high and thick, and thereby causing a fatal
avalanche.
I
compared that to my own life. The romantic side of my marriage had to come
first, even at the expense of my writing and speaking ministry. So, like the
avalanche control experts, I chose to cut back on my writing, cut back to the
point of almost losing my precious career so I could spend more togetherness
time with my husband.
My
short Christmas novelette Heavenly Haven
is the
Only 99 cents at most Ebook locations. |
Heavenly Haven by Christine Lindsay
Avalanches happen to other
people, not us. Marital problems happen to other people, not us, especially
nine days before Christmas. At least that’s what Jack and Shaina Burke thought.
Married for ten years, avalanche control expert Jack, and Shaina, only wanted
to celebrate their December anniversary in a romantic way, until the shifting
snows on the mountain bring havoc tumbling down upon them.
Christine Lindsay would love to connect with you on her Inspirational blog to strengthen your faith. www.christinelindsay.org or on Facebook, follow Christine on Twitter, and Pinterest .
Heavenly Haven is available as an Ebook at most locations.
So true Christine. I had come to the same conclusion. Although I'm not a workaholic, those times alone with my darling are precious.
ReplyDeleteChristine, I'm glad you have the opportunity to travel and have more romance in your marriage :) It can hard to find the balance between work and leisure, especially for writers with deadlines and those writing around day jobs. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteIt has been fun to get away more often. I sure can attest to that. At the end of this life, I'd like to look back and not have the regret of neglecting that aspect of my marriage.
ReplyDeleteGood point. Marriage needs to come first in my mind though a camping holiday would never be my idea of romance. Fortunately it's not my husband's idea of romance either. But we each find what works best for us. Glad you are enjoying your change.
ReplyDeleteYep, what makes one person happy doesn't necessarily make the other happy. We've each got to find those dates or activities that draw us together. While camping isn't for everyone, the little travel trailer works for my hubby and me. It's as if we're sharing the same toy. Not only do we enjoy the going away part, but when we're at home, we like to chat on what place we'd like to go to next. And then there's all the fun of what new gadget we need to get together for the trailer. Fun, fun, fun, with your spouse, that's what we need, whatever shape that may take.
ReplyDeleteMy husband is facing surgery on his knees after christmas, and I at least had thought of this autumn as the time to get caught up at home and treasure each day of fun together. But because the UK editions of my two prayer books have come out, I've got kind of caught up with all that that brings with it. So thank you Christine. I needed that reminder. And sometimes just being quiet together at home has a value, especially ifyour husband is fighting the 'battle of wounded knees!'
ReplyDeleteI completely know where you're at Marion. So many people in a ministry or Christian writing career like us can understand. But the Lord is the first one to remind us to love our spouses. I was one of those who needed a gentle reminder. I'm so glad I'm listening.
DeleteWhat a great post, Christine. My husband and I have just hit that sometimes dreaded 'empty nest' (a bit earlier than planned as our kids are at boarding school) With both of us being workaholics, I don't want to miss this time together.
ReplyDeleteI'm smiling Lisa. That empty nest is a drag for sure, but it is a great time for you and your hubby. And oh what fun you'll have together as a family when the kids come home from school.
DeleteGreat post Christine. I also try and remind myself of the same thing with my toddler - that he's only going to be little for so long and most of the time the better choice (unless on a deadline) is going to be to close the laptop and play! There's always time to check email etc. when he's sleeping...
ReplyDeleteOh you are so right, Kara. Our children grow so fast. A writing ministry comes way below that precious time spent with our family. Blessings.
Delete