Wednesday, October 30, 2013

WORKAHOLIC WANTS ROMANCE



Hi, my name is Christine and I’m a workaholic. 

Like a lot of people, I work, work, work...and work some more. For years I’ve hidden behind the old adage that “a woman’s work is never done”. Or is it for many women, and men too, that we work a lot because we like to?

I’ve noticed something about men and women as they grow older—while men’s testosterone levels drop, so too do women’s estrogen levels. 

While husbands start to slow down, become less aggressive in their careers, it can appear the opposite for their wives. For many women their lowering hormone levels urge them to speed up, grow more confident, downright assertive in many cases. How many ladies in their forties, fifties, sixties start new enterprises, take up demanding responsibilities in the community or their church?

At the start of my fifties I began my long-desired writing and speaking career, and while that was challenging, God gave me the strength to rise to that challenge, and I thoroughly enjoyed reaching those long-sought-after goals.

Oh my, I felt fulfilled. “I was woman. Hear me roar”, and all that stuff.

Meanwhile, my husband began looking forward to his retirement.

Skip forward with me fifteen years as my writing career started to gain some success, I discovered how hard it was to shoehorn leisure into my schedule. When was the last time I took a day off? When was the last time I experienced some of the type of romance that I write about? 

And worse, I noticed that my dear husband was suffering from loneliness due to my extremely busy schedule. The wrongness of that hit me between the eyes. Something had to change.

Around that same time I ran into two different sets of people. The first group of people warmly reminisced about the camping holidays they shared with their spouses over the years. The other group shared that quite recently their spouses had passed away, unexpectedly, suddenly, and all these dear spouses were around the age of sixty.

My husband was sixty.

The question echoed in my mind. What am I waiting for? That week I talked my husband into buying a brand new little travel trailer. He didn’t take much convincing.

On our first trip in July we drove through the majestic Canadian Rockies, and at the summit of Roger’s Pass I noticed a large artillery gun. I asked my husband why on earth that was there, and he explained that avalanche control experts shot artillery shells into the snowcaps to trigger avalanches to carefully control the snows from building too high and thick, and thereby causing a fatal avalanche.

I compared that to my own life. The romantic side of my marriage had to come first, even at the expense of my writing and speaking ministry. So, like the avalanche control experts, I chose to cut back on my writing, cut back to the point of almost losing my precious career so I could spend more togetherness time with my husband.


My short Christmas novelette Heavenly Haven is the
culmination of that thinking and those changes. I hope and pray that my fictional characters, Jack and Shaina, will inspire you to keep your priorities in line as well, to keep the romance alive in your marriage, no matter what cutting that requires.  
Only 99 cents at most Ebook locations.

Heavenly Haven by Christine Lindsay
Avalanches happen to other people, not us. Marital problems happen to other people, not us, especially nine days before Christmas. At least that’s what Jack and Shaina Burke thought. Married for ten years, avalanche control expert Jack, and Shaina, only wanted to celebrate their December anniversary in a romantic way, until the shifting snows on the mountain bring havoc tumbling down upon them.
 


 Christine Lindsay would love to connect with you on her Inspirational blog to strengthen your faith. www.christinelindsay.org  or on Facebook, follow Christine on Twitter, and Pinterest .

Heavenly Haven is available as an Ebook at most locations. 

11 comments:

  1. So true Christine. I had come to the same conclusion. Although I'm not a workaholic, those times alone with my darling are precious.

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  2. Christine, I'm glad you have the opportunity to travel and have more romance in your marriage :) It can hard to find the balance between work and leisure, especially for writers with deadlines and those writing around day jobs. Thanks for sharing.

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  3. It has been fun to get away more often. I sure can attest to that. At the end of this life, I'd like to look back and not have the regret of neglecting that aspect of my marriage.

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  4. Good point. Marriage needs to come first in my mind though a camping holiday would never be my idea of romance. Fortunately it's not my husband's idea of romance either. But we each find what works best for us. Glad you are enjoying your change.

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  5. Yep, what makes one person happy doesn't necessarily make the other happy. We've each got to find those dates or activities that draw us together. While camping isn't for everyone, the little travel trailer works for my hubby and me. It's as if we're sharing the same toy. Not only do we enjoy the going away part, but when we're at home, we like to chat on what place we'd like to go to next. And then there's all the fun of what new gadget we need to get together for the trailer. Fun, fun, fun, with your spouse, that's what we need, whatever shape that may take.

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  6. My husband is facing surgery on his knees after christmas, and I at least had thought of this autumn as the time to get caught up at home and treasure each day of fun together. But because the UK editions of my two prayer books have come out, I've got kind of caught up with all that that brings with it. So thank you Christine. I needed that reminder. And sometimes just being quiet together at home has a value, especially ifyour husband is fighting the 'battle of wounded knees!'

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    1. I completely know where you're at Marion. So many people in a ministry or Christian writing career like us can understand. But the Lord is the first one to remind us to love our spouses. I was one of those who needed a gentle reminder. I'm so glad I'm listening.

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  7. What a great post, Christine. My husband and I have just hit that sometimes dreaded 'empty nest' (a bit earlier than planned as our kids are at boarding school) With both of us being workaholics, I don't want to miss this time together.

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    1. I'm smiling Lisa. That empty nest is a drag for sure, but it is a great time for you and your hubby. And oh what fun you'll have together as a family when the kids come home from school.

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  8. Great post Christine. I also try and remind myself of the same thing with my toddler - that he's only going to be little for so long and most of the time the better choice (unless on a deadline) is going to be to close the laptop and play! There's always time to check email etc. when he's sleeping...

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    1. Oh you are so right, Kara. Our children grow so fast. A writing ministry comes way below that precious time spent with our family. Blessings.

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