Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Does Jealousy Ever Go Away?

I heard a saying the other day. It was a hashtag, and it said #firstworldproblems.

And as I sit here, in a stunningly, beautiful home in Memphis, Tennessee; looking out at 100 acres of thick forest; bacon being cooked on the stove; the air conditioning running; having been loved on for six days; having left all my cares at home - I find myself pushing down the green-eyed monster, so it won't rear it's ugly head.
Rockstar hubby and I have been praying for land to call our own. To find space and quiet and beauty, and it hasn't happened yet - firstworldproblems
The kindness of these Southern folk. The huge church that holds 3,000 and a choir that could compete - firstworldproblems
The email rejection letter from another agent, telling me they were unable to connect with my character - firstworldproblems
Another email telling me that an author friend just had her book optioned for a movie - firstworldproblems.
The iPhone won't work properly - firstworldproblems .

As you have probably figured out, I am a brat. A selfish girl who wants, wants, wants.

LORD, can I please just have land so we can relax more, can I please have an agent who will realize that I am brilliant, can I please also have a husband who will pay attention to me more, a bigger church with more people, and also, can you make it less cold?

When I first heard the comment from a friend, I felt the sting. But she was right.
How dare I, a child of GOD, complain about the silly little things, when others, those that we have been praying for in third world countries, have so much less than I?

I have a husband and son who love me. I have a comfortable home with a roof and snuggly blankets and access to books. I have the freedom to read my Bible (even though I have lost many friends over my faith). I have heating and air conditioning and a tiny garden to call my own. I have two books published. What right do I have to complain?

I count myself as blessed.

I pray for all of you that are looking for more. Because I am looking for more. More GOD and more love. I pray that you can find your little blessings and count them. I pray that you will remember that all of this is temporary, and there are so many more wonderful things to come. So while I refuse to be mean, and say, well it's better than third world problems such as no water, food or any love at all, I will say - remember that you are loved.
Deeply. By the GOD who has an infinite amount - just for you.

Jenn Kelly is an author who is trying to find an agent amidst a strange and crazy life of learning to homeschool while keeping her sanity. This is where she'd insert a photo of herself visiting Graceland, but seeing as how she has no idea how to paste a photo on on iPad (thirdworldproblems), she will let you use your imagination and try not to think of her walking around for three hours with her cardigan tucked into her underwear, because that is exactly what happened and no one told her (thirdworldproblems).


  1. Such an honest post, Jenn. I reckon every one of us fight that same battle when things don't go exactly as we'd like.

    I keep remembering my dear friend who is dying of a brain tumor and it could so easily have been me. She had a fine mind that has already gone. And we pray the Lord takes her soon. Yes, everything else looks unimportant doesn't it when compared with what's going on in the world.

    1. I am so sorry for your friend. That is awful. My heart sends prayers to yours.

  2. In spite of some tough issues lately, God has been reminding me how much I have to be thankful for. Thanks for the great reminder of what really is important!

  3. Jenn, thanks for reminding us about what's most important. We can so easily get distracted by the small stuff that we miss seeing and appreciating the blessings in our lives.

  4. Hi Jenn,
    I can completely relate to what you're saying. I wonder if it does go away with practise :)

  5. Love your honest, funny writing, Jenn! What's wrong with those agents who turn you down? God bless and encourage you, as you wait for that piece of land God has for you somewhere.

    1. Well, that's a sweet compliment, thank you! I guess I haven't found the right one yet?