DEVOTION: I Scared My Grandchild by Ray Hawkins

 Our first grandchild was born whilst my wife, Mary, and I were in England for two years. When we returned he was about 12 months old. When I walked in and hugged my son and daughter –in-law young Damon burst into tears. He wouldn’t come near me. For a couple of weeks every time I went to his house he cried. I think he was worried I’d come to take his daddy away, plus he hadn’t known me until suddenly I was there.  It took time and patience to calm his fears and hold his hand. Ten years later we get along famously.

As I recently reflected upon this I thought how when we first have an encounter with the Lord God there is that element of fear. How we are introduced to our Heavenly Father will colour our initial response to Him. Has He come to deprive us of something? Is He our judge and ‘spoilsport?’ We grasp the fact that He is holy and we are not. Condemned by our own hearts we tremble in His presence, unseen it may be by others, yet to us at that moment so real and defining.

Looking back over my initial encounters with the Eternal God I’m so grateful for His patient understanding of me. I needed Him but was reluctant to place my hand in His. I wanted His gifts but ran from any commitment. As I enjoyed going to the local church and its activities I realised He turned up there also, unseen but with a very real presence. Sometimes I was in tune with Him, other times no. But the Lord never gave up on me.

That was nearly sixty years ago and my testimony is that my Heavenly Father drew me to embrace Him through faith in His son Jesus Christ. Since that day my fear has turned to awe. My reluctance to commitment. My ignorance to understanding!

My grandchild isn’t perfect (although I think he is almost, as too his sisters and brothers).
I’ve had to admonish and correct some issues in his life. This has enriched our relationship, not lessened it. So too my relationship with my God! He has disciplined me over the years but nowhere near as severely as I’ve deserved. Has this lessened my appreciation and love for the Lord? No! It has enhanced it.

It is a fearful thing to meet the Lord God Almighty for the first time. We may want to run from Him but where can we hide? God doesn’t offer us candy but shows us the cross and woos us into an understanding of His saving grace. After the years of walking with Him in ministry I have few regrets. One of them is that I took so long to know and embrace Him.
Raymond Hawkins.

Ray is a retired minister, married to Mary, a multi-published author. He has written numerous articles and recently through EBP (Qld, Australian) had three devotional meditations published. Children- God’s special interest. From Eden with Love (About marriage) and Captured by Calvary. He is also a poet. See website and links.

Email Ray
mary-hawkins.com
evenbeforepublishing.com