Devotion: Birthday Gifts and Self-Care

by Sherma Webbe Clarke | @sdwc8181 

Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers (3 John 2 NKJV). 

I celebrated a birthday recently. The blinding light from my birthday cake evidenced in a humbling way the fact that I’m getting older. I figure I probably should get used to demonstrating wisdom, because older people are expected to be wise, aren’t they? It’s going to take some time to perfect this wisdom thing, but I can pick up from my previous devotional post as a warm up. 

Wisdom doesn’t come from wishing on birthday candles nor does self-care. Over the years, I have learned self-care requires effort. I must decide to act if I want to overcome feeling overwhelmed. These reminders of ways to practice self-care are excellent birthday gifts. 

1. Count your blessings. 

When we’re too busy and overwhelmed, we forget to give thanks for our blessings. Jobs, parenting, responsibilities at church, housework, or furthering our education all clamor for our attention. Shifting the paradigm helps me see these same things as blessings. A demanding job provides support for the family. Diligence in housework creates a pleasing, hospitable atmosphere. But my attitude toward deadlines and responsibilities can bear witness to God’s power to give me peace in the midst of life’s turmoil. 

2. Slow Down. 

It sounds like an oxymoron: “I have so much to do, and you’re telling me to slow down?” Recharge. Breath. How much is really going to get done in the 15-20 minutes you take to have a nap, do some stretching, or watch a bird frolic in a puddle? 

3. Take a walk. 

Short. Long. Power. Stroll. Stretch your legs while giving your brain a break from worry or to-do lists. 

4. Play. 

Didn’t it feel great to play when you were a kid? Play hasn’t changed; we did. If you have children, they’ll be glad to help you rediscover your childhood, even for a few minutes. An energetic dog with a tug toy or ball works well, too. 

5. Write it down. 

There’s something therapeutic about writing down one’s feelings. I’ve kept journals for as long as I remember. Mostly, they contain conversations between God and me, lists of blessings, reflections, and occasionally a poem or two. 

6. Count to 10. 

Before impulsively agreeing to do something that you know you don’t have time to do—or do as well as you’d like—count to ten and think about a few things. How would saying ‘yes’ impact my to-do list? Is there anyone else who could complete this task instead of me? Can the deadline be altered to give me more time to accomplish it? Do I need more information before making a decision? 

Practicing self-care means looking after yourself and recognizing that your needs are important. It’s not a new concept. Jesus gave an example of self-care in Luke 4. He separated himself from the people and went to a deserted place (verse 42). Later, when the people found him, he had been refreshed to meet their needs. 

Jesus also defended the need for self-care. Martha criticized Mary for neglecting her household duties, but Jesus gently pointed out that Mary’s desire for spiritual refreshment was “needed” and “good” (Luke 10:38-42 NKJV). Let’s promise to do what’s good and needed so we can enjoy the healthy lives that God wants for us. 

What advice would you give your younger self about managing time when life gets busy? Is there a special scripture text that puts you at Jesus’ feet when you need to feel peace? 

About Sherma... 

Sherma Webbe Clarke is a contemporary fiction writer and a 2017 ACFW First Impressions Finalist. Her inspirational writing has been included in Christian devotional books: Grace Notes and Blessed. She loves to take her husband by the hand to explore nearby and far-flung areas of the globe. This wanderlust has its perks. She credits many of her story ideas to these adventures. Quiet, early-morning walks along the railroad trails on her home island of Bermuda provide inspiration when she is homebound.

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WISDOM

If it’s true you gain wisdom through mistakes, well then, I must be a sage. In fact, I think I’ve earned the golden chalice for acumen in this past week alone. The reality is, I’d go back and relive the last several days if I could, where yearning exists for a do over.

I said and did a few things that left me eating crow. Most often I’m a disciplined person, but if somebody is incessant enough and pushes long and hard enough on the right buttons I have the potential to explode like that unpleasant loose cannon where anything goes. This is not something I’m proud of, and, writing with an open and honest heart, happens rarely. However, if/when it does it is dreadful.

After tossing and turning at night over a particular incident that caused an unsolicited chain reaction, I called two go-to people hoping to glean a bit of the old, “It’s okay, that’s not so bad” solace. Instead, I heard, “Oh, wow, you shouldn’t have said that. You did what?” along with detecting through the receiver a hiss of air sucked between clenched teeth. I hung up feeling worse.

Droopy, I began missing my dad. If my dad still lived, he’d first hear me out over the episode. Though he was a Godly man, he possessed an irreverent sense of humor (something he passed down to me in good measure thank you very much). So then he’d proceed with, “Here’s what you should have said. . . .” At that point, he’d paint a much worse (ridiculous) picture of the scenario and my specific role in it, bringing the both of us to roaring laughter at our humanness. Then he’d wipe the tears of amusement from the corners of his eyes and finish with, “Ah, you’re all right kid. Just do better next time.” I always walked away as if I could face life again, somehow redeemed.

Not able to correct the mistakes I’ve made, even after profuse apologies (sometimes you just can’t take back what you’ve said or done no matter what), I crawled under a rock, as they say, feeling its weight on my back. Then I remembered the voice of my dad, much like the unconditionally loving and forgiving Heavenly Father, hearing it again as if right there beside me: “Ah, you’re all right kid. Just do better next time.” It caused me to resurface. I stood, and today my knees aren’t as wobbly as they seemed yesterday.

You’re right, Dad. I’m gonna be all right - and I promise to do better next time.

Today, I am wiser than I was yesterday. Tomorrow, perhaps I’ll prove wiser than I am today. I could keep wishing for the obliteration of past mistakes, but where would the wisdom be in that?



A former dancer turned novelist, Tessa is the author of (appropriately), The Unforgivable, and the upcoming fantasy romance novella, Wind’s Aria, with more in the works. To see just how many times she can put her foot in her mouth, stop over at www.TessaStockton.com paying special attention to her Blogette.

GREENER GRASS

Have you seen it? You’re driving down the road and you notice how a cow stretches its neck through the fence to reach grass that appears exactly the same as the patch it’s standing on.

Is the grass on the other side truly greener?

In human terms, how often have we noted the exceptional quality of another person’s position and thought, if only I had that!  More success, better connections, a bigger house, nicer car, palatable circumstances, improved relationships, (fill in the rest) things would be easier…I will have “arrived.”

At various times in the past, I’ve made assessments on things by how they appear at first glance—before I really got a chance to think about them. Perhaps that was but a human trait or it’s just me. Whatever it is, I’ve now experienced enough of the world to conclude that outside appearances are illusory.

I’ve waited years for the Big Day. You know. The one where the dream you’ve ever imagined finally happens and plops right into your lap from nowhere? Okay, okay, I have experienced a few of those over the years, but not without preemptive hard work and determination to back it up—however, it hardly equated to inner happiness. Perhaps you experience this euphoric period, but it fades as you adjust and grow accustomed to the new set of conditions. And suddenly those new conditions become the old set once again while you start looking for the next enhancement.

“The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence” is an early American proverb of restlessness and disgruntlement. This idea other people are better off is not true. I’ll dare say it’s the devil’s great deception; an intended distraction. Contentment is the direct result of our current heart-status. What I mean is…the better alternative is the one you’re already in. Grass is not greener. Grass is just grass wherever you are. Learn to cultivate your own field. It’s yours, your responsibility. Belonging to you, you’re accountable for either producing a lush, green, healthy lawn with the seed you’ve been given, or one that is riddled with weeds, lacking water, and poorly trimmed. How can we expand our field into something greater if we allow it to rot while we daydream of other pastures?

I love proverbs because they challenge us to dig deeper, especially Biblical Proverbs. God gave us intellect for pondering power. We are urged to embrace wisdom. Ask for it, use discernment in our decisions. Run the purposeful marathon one mile at a time as things unfold in the race unique to us. If we can accomplish that, mindful to fertilize that lawn once in a while, we’ll do just fine. 

A veteran of the performing arts, Tessa’s work included directing dance ensembles and cultural exchange programs under the auspices of missionary organizations. Besides traveling worldwide in performance and outreach endeavors, she contributed as a writer and editor for ministry newsletters as well as political literature. While her literary focus gravitates from genre to genre, she prefers stories involving love.“Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it.” ~ Bible

www.TessaStockton.com