Wandering Wednesday - El Paso, Texas & Campo Bom, Brazil ;)

By Patricia Beal | @bealpat 

Hi! Nice to see the writing world beyond editingville.

For the past four months, all I’ve done is edit Desert Willow (formerly known as The Song of the Desert Willow—I edited the title too).

Today I want to take you to some of the places in the novel.

Desert Willow began as a NaNoWriMo in March project back in 2014 and now finally received a much-needed rewrite and edit. It's been on submission before, but it's new and better. My new agent will be reading it in April and then we will see what we want to do next.

This rewrite and edit-again process is so familiar to me. My debut, A Season to Dance, went through seven years of that. One day I will write a novel the easy way—should there be such a thing.

Without further ado, let's wander :) 

Here's the blurb:

Clara Malone is a new college graduate who puts her job-hunting on hold to travel to Texas and deliver her grandmother’s last love letter before the woman’s impending death. Andrew Lee James is a young Army captain whose first shot at love and marriage imploded on the steps of a West Point chapel during graduation week.

When the letter’s recipient, General Mario Medeiros, is delayed in Germany with a weak heart, Andrew is put in charge of Clara’s well-being. Andrew wants to tell off the woman who left him at the altar but now wants him back. If Clara would look at him with the slightest bit of interest, maybe he could. But three generations of women in her family were betrayed and ruined by Army men. Sure, he is handsome and looks just like Prince Harry. But she didn’t date soldiers—not anymore.

Surrounded by cactus flowers she never thought possible and desert willows that sing with the buzzing of hummingbirds, Clara soon finds herself enjoying her time with Andrew more than she should, and as a delay that was supposed to last a few days turns into weeks, she is offered a temporary job she can’t turn down.

Could it be that her mission at Fort Bliss is what she needs to understand her family’s painful history, learn to love them as they are, and chart a hopeful future? It is possible. But a blast from the past threatens to get her off track.

Behind the scenes:

I enjoy this story so much. It has a lot of my grandma’s history in it—life in the German colonies of the south of Brazil before WWII, the beginning of the shoe industry there (still famous worldwide, with women’s shoes always available at stores like Neiman Marcus), the life of the richest family in town, the most influential man (my great grandfather), his death, loss, change. It’s a fascinating slice of history that I hope to share with readers soon.

And then the contemporary story of Clara is fun to write because I’ve worked for the U.S. Army on-and-off since the nineties and have been an Army wife for more than twelve years. There are tons of neat details of Army life to share. This could easily be book one of a series.

Clara and Andrew are fun to write too because I created them in 2015, so by now, I know them well. And I love the antagonist. I should write her story one day. I think I cried for that woman for five whole chapters toward the end.

Emma Stone would be Clara in the movie version ;) Pinterest image.

And Prince Harry would be U.S. Army Captain Andrew Lee James :) Pinterest image.

But I think that what I enjoy the most is making all the connections, showing how the actions of a distant past affect and inform the modern story so deeply. It’s how life works, I believe. To be able to hold all that history in three hundred plus pages, massaged and shaped, can be astonishing and transformational.

Growing up in New Hamburg, Brazil.

The city of Campo Bom continues to honor my great-grandfather and the families that put the city on the map. Here I am with my mom, grandma and uncle.

The city created a great cultural space in the heart of the city to preserve its history: https://www.guiacampobom.com.br/campo-bom/pontos-turisticos/largo-irmaos-vetter

With my grandma at the top of the monument's chimney. The chimney of her dad's factory was the clock by which city life happened. 

Desert Willow

I hope you enjoyed this slice of family history and this look around my writing desk.

Love y’all. See you next time :)

About Patricia

Patricia Beal has danced ballet her whole life. She is from Brazil and fell in love with the English language while washing dishes at a McDonald's in Indianapolis. She put herself through college working at a BP gas station and graduated magna cum laude from the University of Cincinnati with a B.A. in English Literature. She then worked as a public affairs officer for the U.S. Army for seven years.

She now writes contemporary fiction and is represented by Bob Hostetler of The Steve Laube Agency. Her debut novel, A Season to Dance, came out in May (Bling! / Lighthouse Publishing of the Carolinas 2017). A Portuguese translation will be out in her native Brazil in late 2018 via Editora Pandorga. Patricia is a 2015 Genesis semi-finalist and First Impressions finalist. She and her husband live in North Carolina with their two children.


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A Toast to Editors

By Christine Dillon

“Why is your point of view character thinking?” wrote the editor. “She should be feeling.”

This comment on my first novel manuscript set me thinking rather than feeling. Why was my character like that? It didn’t take me long to realise my main character is like me.

“I’m an ISTJ (Myer’s Brigg personality type - Introvert- Sensing-Thinking-Judging),” I told my editor. ”Welcome to my world.”

The editor wrote back:

“I’m an ENFP (Extrovert-iNtuitive-Feeling-Perceptive). If someone even looks at me crossly I become teary.”

That was the day I began to respect editors in a new way. 

No longer just for their hard work and abilities with words and grammar. But more for their ability to see what is not there on the page and to make a story richer and deeper. As the editor said:

“To make your writing about the emotional inner world as beautiful as your descriptions of the outer, visible world.”

When I first wrote a book (non-fiction), it didn’t take me long to realise editors were the unsung heroes of writing. Like authors, they come in all kinds of styles and qualities. How was I going to find the right editor for my first novel? I was ignorant of so many parts of the process, including what kind of editors there were. As a church planter in Taiwan, I was also cut off from other authors and their networks. I couldn’t easily attend writer’s conferences or meet editors face to face.

However, I do have one huge advantage: 

I’m a Christian and therefore have many unseen resources. I have a God who not only can help me write (and fiction has been a more than four-year journey towards the first novel) but who answers prayer. He knew where the networks were, and He knew the editors that were both right for me personally and for my manuscript.

I was a slow convert to Facebook but am grateful for it in one huge aspect—groups. Through Facebook, I found many other Christian authors. It quickly became clear that the one essential to writing and publishing a novel was professional editing (and later, a professional cover).

Finding the right editor is a bit like dating. 

Not everyone is a good ‘match’. As my novel is based in Australia, I wanted someone who could understand the Australian context. And I wanted someone who had my values about Christian novels and their purpose. Soon I had a short list and kept praying. I might not know who was right for my book, but God would.

I sent off a sample of my writing and the summary. The editor I chose said, “It’s not ready for me yet”. She listed a few pages of things I needed to do to improve my writing.

That was a disappointing start as I’d planned to publish it four months after I first sent it. Discovering it was much further from ‘ready’ than I’d thought meant delaying the publication by fifteen months because I am seldom in Australia, and I wanted a physical book launch in Australia.

How could I have ever doubted that God had things under control. 

Every minute of the extra time has been needed to improve my writing, build networks, learn to market, run an author website, and grow my email list.

It was an exciting day when the editor finally said, “Now your manuscript is ready to edit.”
Once we worked out each others styles, we settled into a rhythm. However, the day I really knew God had matched us was the day we had the ISTJ/ENFP conversation. My natural tendency would have been to choose someone like me. Without an ENFP editor, all my main characters would have been ISTJ’s!

After the edit was complete I thought the book was done. 

Then God stepped in again although at the time it felt more like more stress, and more cost. I submitted a sample for a cost estimate for a final copy edit. Imagine my horror when the chapters were returned covered in comments. It was time for me to learn more lessons about showing not telling, and narrative distance.

After this second editor read the whole manuscript she said, “This is one and a half books, not one.” I found myself planning a trilogy and having to cut the first book off at the two-thirds point and add a new conclusion.

Has it been worth it?

A million times yes! Without these editors I would have published something that was about a 30% standard. Those editors had the courage to say what needed to be said.

Hurrah for editors (good ones, of course) and a toast to them.

What have you learned about finding a good author/editor match?

About Christine Dillon

Based in southern Taiwan, Christine loves to tell Bible stories (to adults) as part of a church planting team. Traditionally published in non-fiction and is now working towards self-publishing in fiction, she keeps telling God she really doesn’t want to write.

In her spare time—now much reduced due to writing—she loves hiking, cycling, genealogy and of course, reading.

You can find Christine at her website, www.storytellerchristine.com, and on Facebook.

Editing on the Go

I am currently in Noumea, New Caledonia, and as well as taking a break, I have been focusing on editing my novel Mariah's Dream. This was a task I had ignored up until now, after completing the first draft almost a year ago.

It has been interesting to be away from home while deliberately pouring all my writing effort into this edit. I think it's been beneficial to make a break from all the everyday things and do something completely different. I haven't done anything like it for many years.

Above you can see one of the places I have enjoyed working while here. It's a picnic table along the Promenade Pierre Vernier, a coastal walk of about three or four kilometres from where I'm staying. If the clouds stay for a while, so can I without getting burnt, and scribble a while before returning to enter the written words into the digital version.

Before I embarked on this edit, I transferred the project into Scrivener - my first time working with the program. It's been wonderful for jumping around between scenes, finding them immediately if I think of something I need to add elsewhere.

I'm going home in a few days, with some work left to do on the story. Here's hoping the extra momentum of a foreign country will carry over to everyday life.

If you're interested, you can read the new opening of Mariah's Dream on the website of Port Yonder Press. Please tell me what you think of it!

Enjoying the editing process

Just last week, I completed checking the edits of my latest novel, which the publisher had sent to me well over two months ago. Prior to this, I had not had time—or the space in my brain—to do a careful enough job of it all. However, in these quieter January days, I finally tackled those edits so patiently waiting for me.

I felt my editor had done her part with thought and care. She had picked up things I had totally missed and I was grateful for that. Around six months ago, I was asked to re-write some sections of this same book because I had swapped point of view too often. That was a good lesson for me to learn. I duly did this re-writing and returned the manuscript. Yet now, I discovered I had still missed a couple of spots where the main protagonist could not possibly have known some things I had her saying or thinking. Also, I had fallen into an all too familiar trap for me, which was that I kept repeating myself in the earlier chapters, just to make sure my readers understood exactly what was happening! Little by little, I am learning to trust my readers more, but it is something of a long process for someone who has been a school teacher in the past and also speaks often! I want to be sure people are ‘with’ me when I speak. Yet, in a novel, this merely becomes unnecessary repetition.

Am I striking any chords with other authors out there? Do you ever find your editor has marked things in your manuscript you wonder why you didn’t see yourself? Or am I the only one who is a slow learner at times?

Yet inevitably, I also found points on which we differed, particularly in the punctuation area. I tend to use quite a few dashes in my sentences, especially in direct speech. For some reason, I like them better than commas—and definitely more than semi-colons! Somehow, they seem to make the dialogue flow better and feel more relaxed, whereas the commas make for a much jerkier, choppier ride. Or is that merely my imagination? Also, while I understand the grammatical rules for using commas, it seems fewer and fewer of those little, curly things are being used these days. So, not wanting to appear old-fashioned in my writing style, I now tend not to use so many myself. Do any of you face this dilemma as well?

Along with all this, however, I experienced some wonderful moments of joy and fulfilment during my editing. It is a while since I wrote this novel—I finished the first version over two years ago. Yes, I had another bite at it around six months ago, but so much has happened in my life since then. How enjoyable it was, I discovered, to be caught up with my characters again and be drawn into their stories! How satisfying it was to be able to say to myself as I read. ‘Yes, I do love these characters! Yes, I agree with what they’re saying. And yes, I still think this book will be a jolly good read!’

Do you ever find yourself doing such weird things? Or am I the only one?

May you, too, not only survive all your editing journeys ahead in 2013 but enjoy them as well!

Jo-Anne Berthelsen lives in Sydney but grew up in Brisbane. She holds degrees in Arts and Theology and has worked as a high school teacher, editor and secretary, as well as in local church ministry. Jo-Anne is passionate about touching hearts and lives through both the written and spoken word. She is the author of five published novels – Heléna, All the Days of My Life, Laura, Jenna and Heléna’s Legacy—and one non-fiction work, Soul Friend: the story of a shared spiritual journey. Her sixth novel, The Inheritance, will be released in 2013. Jo-Anne is married to a retired minister and has three grown-up children and three grandchildren. For more information, please visit www.jo-anneberthelsen.com or www.soulfriend.com.au.