Mawage, er, Marriage Proposal Traditions

International Proposal Traditions 

By "international" I mean "outside of the United States". ;)

Ever wondered what other traditions there are out there for marriage proposals? Just how do they do it in a place such as...

Ireland.

They have one such tradition as women proposing to men.

By Source, Fair use, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?curid=25087659

 But only once every four years. Time and Date (of all places to read about proposals!) say this:

"According to an old Irish legend, or possibly history, St Brigid struck a deal with St Patrick to allow women to propose to men – and not just the other way around – every four years.
This is believed to have been introduced to balance the traditional roles of men and women in a similar way to how leap day balances the calendar."

This romantic comedy movie is super fun. I highly recommend it.


Australian Aboriginals

Traditionally promised to marriage at age five. Nowadays, Aboriginal people are quite contemporary, especially those who live in country towns or cities.

http://www.cairnsunlimited.com/aboriginalculture.htm

 The Netherlands

Clogs as a marriage proposal, what could possibly be more Dutch than THAT!

Image from creative commons.

One story says that young men once carved clogs to leave on the doorsteps of their chosen ladies, and if she wore them the next day it would signal an acceptance of the marriage proposal. Aww. In contemporary Dutch wedding traditions, some couples may wear clogs for the wedding day and later display them on the walls of their home with dried flowers.

Apparently we also have the Dutch to thank for bridal showers, wishing trees, and lilies of the valley. Ah. Where would today's brides be without those traditions? :)

 Italy
Giving one's true love a lumpy iron band. Cos, you know, nothing says "I love you" more than THAT!

Iron Roman wedding band. Photographed at British Museum, London.

 But Italians being the clever people they are figured out that iron rusts and decided to make them out of gold instead. And then add diamonds. And clasped hands (fede ala Claddagh) style rings thus bringing the tradition full circle from "I own you" to "I promise to marry you/trust you" to "I love you".

There are more traditions over at THIS blog. In the meantime, here's the mawage clip from the Princess Bride.

Your turn! What marriage proposal traditions have YOU heard of that is unusual?

God bless!

Lucy Thompson is a stay-at-home mum to five precocious children and wife to the ultra-handy Dave by day, and a snoop by night, stalking interesting characters through historical settings, and writing about their exploits. Catch her on facebook. She'd love to make a new friend. :)

WASGIJ?

by Marion Ueckermann

I love building puzzles, and about once a year, I’ll go through a spate of whiling away the hours on this pastime. In fact, I recently completed a 2000 piece puzzle that I loved so much, I placed it between two pieces of glass and created a table top from it.

Now, you’re probably scratching your head and wondering what puzzles have to do with writing and reading. They actually have quite a lot in common, and here are a few things I could think of off the top of my head…

They both create a visual effect:

·         the puzzler pieces the tiny pieces together to build a beautiful picture

·         the author forges images for the reader by stringing words together

They both create a relaxing experience:

·         strange as it may sound, piecing together a puzzle can be rather relaxing—even though there are moments of frustration when you can’t find where to place a piece…or if you get to the end just to find there are pieces missing

·         people read to relax—but the relaxation levels could depend on what book you’re reading…not sure how relaxing a Steven King book is

You learn from both:

·         dopamine, the chemical responsible for learning and memory, increases when building jigsaw puzzles

·         Confucius said you cannot open a book without learning something—how true!

They both stimulate the brain:

·         you harness both brainpowers—left (logical, follows sequence) and right (creative, intuitive and emotional)—when putting together a puzzle

·         reading will do the same, dependent on the book, ie. fiction will feed the imagination (right brain), while non-fiction will build on knowledge, logic, reasoning, strategy, etc. (left brain). Creative non-fiction I’d guess would stimulate both.

My sister is a jigsaw fanatic, too, but we have totally different ideas about what to do when we’ve built a puzzle. She will paste that completed image to a hard board in the hopes that one day she’ll frame it and hang it. I think she could build a small house with all the puzzles she’s done this with. I, on the other hand, will break it up to build another day (except, of course, for my table top one). Readers react the same way with books—some will get rid of a book once they’ve read it, while others will slide it back onto their bookshelves to read the story once again.

When my brother emigrated to England two years ago, I inherited a puzzle from him and his wife. A WASGIJ?. Don’t know what a WASGIJ? is?—don’t worry, I didn’t either. Let me explain…it’s a back-to-front puzzle (if you read the word from right to left, it spells JIGSAW). In other words, the image on the puzzle box is actually what the final built puzzle is looking at, ie. if it were an image of the Eiffel Tower, you might find the built puzzle is of a couple picnicking on the grass in front of the tower, gazing up at the tall structure. Here is the puzzle I was given.

A WASGIJ? is rather challenging as you’ve no idea where the various pieces fit. Do they go on the right, the left, the bottom, or the top? It takes quite some time to piece this puzzle together, and all you have to go on is a cryptic clue on the box. This puzzle’s clue was: Uproar at the Vets!

And here’s the finished image, here’s what has everyone in that veterinary clinic in a tizz.

Authors are generally either Plotters or Pantsers (or a hybrid somewhere in between). I’m a thoroughbred Pantser, and this WASJIG? puzzle reminds me of myself because in my writing process, I work to a bare skeleton—kind of like the cryptic clue on this puzzle’s box. I have a vague idea what my story will look like, but am often surprised by what happens between that first word and the last…something like the process of not knowing what image will materialize when you tip the WASJIG? pieces onto a table. Life can be a little like a WASJIG?, too, don’t you think? So often unsure of what the bigger picture will be.

So, what kind of puzzler / reader / writer are you? I’d love to hear your stories on any, or all, of these pastimes.

MARION UECKERMANN's passion for writing was sparked when she moved to Ireland with her family. Her love of travel has influenced her contemporary inspirational romances set in novel places. Marion and her husband again live in South Africa, but with two gorgeous grandsons hanging their hats at the house next door, their empty nest's no longer so empty.

Visit Marion at www.marionueckermann.net

If you’d like to receive information on new releases, cover reveals, and writing news, please sign up for my newsletter: 

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No Time to Read - A Guest Post by Author Debra Jeter

Hi! This is Patricia. I am happy to introduce my new writer friend Debra Jeter. She's a Vanderbilt University professor and debut author. Enjoy Debra's guest post.

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In Today’s Shifting Landscape: Why Books Still Matter,

For the Young & Young at Heart

Technology has turned the world upside down. I used to believe that when I got older, I would be wiser and more knowledgeable and the young might even turn to me for guidance. Instead, the older I get, the harder it is to keep up with the advances. I have to look to my children for help. “What is Snapchat?” I ask; or “How do you share a picture from Instagram to Facebook?”

A friend of mine told me that when she got her cable installed for her television, she wanted to block certain channels from viewing by her kids. She couldn’t figure out how to do it, so what did she do? She asked her kids to block the channels from themselves!

But do these technologically savvy youngsters read books for pleasure? Do they know who Louisa May Alcott was or what Robert Lewis Stevenson wrote? Have they read Emily Bronte or Mark Twain? And it is not just kids who bury their (our) noses too often in their computers or smart phones. I am not saying it’s all bad. But we only have so many hours in a lifetime. Whereas we once spent our leisure time reading books, I wonder how many of those hours are now spent scrolling through the latest posts on Facebook or Instagram or some other social medium.

It would be a tremendous shame if our youth ceased to read for entertainment, for enlightenment. I think the best books are not the ones that tell us how to think or behave, but the ones that leave us with questions. I recently read a post from a reader who said that Gone with the Wind disturbed her for a long time because of its ending. I thought back to the first time I read it. I stumbled across the novel on the shelves of our local library and, believe it or not, I had never heard of it. I was engrossed. And, yes, I too was disturbed by the ending. But would we have remembered it as well or as long if Scarlett had fallen into Rhett’s arms in the finale? Instead, we have to wonder if she’s getting what she deserves, and to question what will happen tomorrow. After all, tomorrow is another day.

Books open doors in a way that nothing else can. They allow us to draw our own pictures of the setting and characters, rather than relying on the director or actors as in a movie. They expand our vocabulary, not because we look words up in the dictionary but because we learn from context as we encounter those same words again and again. When you are engaged in the story, you probably don’t want to take time to look words up even on your smart phone. And, honestly, you don’t need to!

Many of my favorite books can be categorized as young adult or even children’s books. But when I was in those age groups, I remember reading and cherishing many adult novels. Don’t limit yourselves to one genre or one reading level, or you might miss some true treasures.

Finally, I still believe we can learn a lot from our elders. Several years ago I had two women in a college class I was teaching who were mother and daughter. Both led busy lives. By the end of the course it became clear that the mother would earn one of the highest grades in the class, while the daughter was likely to fail. The mother confided to me that she had learned to snatch every available moment—while baking something in the oven, while drying a load of laundry, etc.—to read a paragraph or two of her text. I don’t know if her daughter ever learned that lesson, but it has certainly stayed with me over the years. If I have a longish drive or an appointment—hair salon, dentist, doctor’s office, whatever—you’ll rarely catch me without a book or an audio book!

Besides the Bible, can you name a book that has made a difference in your life?

Debra Jeter’s debut novel, The Ticket, is now available through Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and other outlets. Check out the book trailer at: https://vimeo.com/50187275.

A Vanderbilt University professor, Debra worries that by trying to do too much, she doesn’t do anything as well as she could or should. She also worries that she worries too much! The Ticket was a Selah Award and Operation First Novel finalist. She is a co-writer of the screenplay for Jess + Moss, a feature film which premiered in 2011 at the Sundance Film Festival. She loves to travel and plans to use her travel experiences to enhance settings in future work.

Website and Blog: www.debracolemanjeter.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/debra.c.jeter
Twitter: https://twitter.com/DebColemanJeter
Trailer on YouTube: https://youtu.be/FYTKJdd7Gqw Amazon page: http://www.amazon.com/dp/1941103863/
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/dashboard
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/njjeter/the-ticket-a-novel/

Each Day is a Surprise

‘Treat each day as a surprise’ is advice from a friend of mine.

If you ask me it is good advice because we never know exactly what the day will bring.

The other day while my husband and I were walking along a beach near our home we were surprised by two pods of dolphins swimming so close to shore we could have practically walked out to meet them. Sadly, we didn’t have the camera to capture them but it certainly brightened our day.

Earlier this week on another beach walk, my husband found this shell which has been added to my collection.

It is lovely to find one so full of colour and perfectly intact washed up.

When it comes to surprises and writing, one morning I received an email from someone about Homes Kid, one of my poems she had read.  I’m not sure where the woman who is a senior lecturer in social sciences at one of our universities found it. Probably it was in the literary magazine where it was originally published, way back in 1995.  Being a person who lectures at university and who was researching about children placed into foster care and care situations, she emailed me about the poem’s origin. We emailed back and forth a bit about the inspiration of and the content of the poem. The result was she ended up buying a copy of Kaleidoscope to read my other poems. 

Just recently I was given Echoes of Memory - poems by John O’ Donohue. Apparently I had mentioned it once in passing and my son had picked up on it, even though I had forgotten all about it. Once I started to read I was immediately transported by the simplicity and beauty of the language. You can be sure it is one of those poetry books I will be pulling out and reading again and again.

As writers, whether we write fiction, poetry or some other form of nonfiction one of the most important things we can do as well as write, is to read and keep on reading. We need to read to see what is out on the market place already. Not that we want to copy the style or ideas of someone else, far from it! But as we read and read widely we see what works and what doesn’t. We begin to see faults that may show up in our own writing and find ways to overcome them. Since I have been writing I have found I have become a more critical reader. Has anyone else found this? So longs as it helps me weed out the unnecessary words, dialogue or whatever it might be in my own writing that is not working, then it is a useful tool to have.

Often it is not only reading the good books with fully fleshed characters or beautiful prose we learn from. We can learn from those with cardboard cut out characters, false sounding dialogue and clunky sentences because we learn what to avoid. Anything that rings false has the capacity to pull the reader out of a story, a poem or piece of writing. That’s something we definitely don’t want to happen to those reading our work.

When you read are you conscious of looking out for specific things or do you just get so caught up in the story or the beauty of the language that you find yourself unable to distance yourself and view it objectively? Love to hear your thoughts on this.

 

Dale writes fiction and poetry. Her latest novel is Streets on a Map is currently available as an E book. She has also written children’s books, bible studies, Sunday school material, devotionals, and articles about marriage, home and Christian living. She is currently at work on a new novel, tentatively titled Sandstone Madonna.

Interview with Lisa Harris

Today I have an interview with Lisa Harris

where she talks about writing reading and  gives a few hints about her new book Dangerous Passage. Welcome Lisa.

 

1. What comes first for you character or plot?

It’s not always the same, but in this story, Avery North played around in my mind for months before I started writing her story. I know she was a cop. I knew she was a single mom with a daughter, who’d lost her husband. The details of her life became more distinct as I began writing the story and working through the plot, but she definitely came first.

2. Was there a particular incident, place or monument that first sparked your thinking for this novel?

Several years ago, I wrote Blood Ransom, a novel that focused on human trafficking in Africa. At the time, I had no idea this was an issue in the US. With this new series, I decided that setting this story in the US, the backdrop of human trafficking would not only make an exciting story, but would also help people become aware of this very real issue.

3. Did you know how this novel would end before you wrote it? Or did you consider any alternate ending?

I usually have my stories pretty well outlined before I start writing, but I still don’t always know exactly how it will end, or sometimes even who is the bad guy. I love it when I get surprised by a turn of events that ups the stories emotional impact. With this story, I was surprised by a couple events, (I won’t give any spoilers here!) even though I stayed pretty close to my outline and didn’t consider an alternate ending.

4. Were Avery or Jackson based even loosely on someone you know or have met?

No, both characters are purely the product of my imagination.

5. What would you hope readers would take away after reading Dangerous Passage?

In the story, my main character, Avery North, struggles to balance life as a widow and a single mom with a full-time career. She has to come to the point where se realizes her weaknesses and fears and rely only on God’s strength.

In our own lives, we often feel inadequate to follow God’s call, but never forget that the God who created the universe loves us and wants to be our strength. He came to heal the empty and broken hearted, and those searching for freedom and hope. That’s what I hope readers take away from this story.

6. Where is your favourite place to write?

I’ve learned to write pretty much anywhere. In the midst of homeschooling, travelling, or just day-to-day life. Which means that anywhere that’s fairly quiet works for me, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t prefer the beach or a quiet spot outside!

7. Do you read fiction while working on a novel? Or do you tend towards reading non-fiction or poetry?

Since I always seem to be working on a novel, I read a variety of genres. No poetry, but lots of non-fiction. I also do read fiction, but not always in the genre I write. For instance, I love medieval, Tudor, and other historical settings.

8. What are you currently reading?

For fiction, I just started Rachel Hauck’s Once Upon a Prince. For non-fiction, I’m reading The Heavenly Man about Chinese Christian brother Yun which is such a fabulous, life-changing book!

9.  What is the most helpful advice about writing you have ever received?

If you want to be a writer, you need to write. Network, go to conferences, read books on writing, but write!

10. Who are some of your favourite authors?

It’s hard to narrow it down. I grew up loving Victoria Holt, enjoy Dee Henderson’s early books, and more recently, Sandra Byrd’s Tudor series, and Jill Smith’s biblical fiction.
 
Thanks Lisa for sharing some of your writing insights with us. Lisa has kindly offered a giveaway of

to one lucky person who leaves a comment. This is international. So do leave a comment and your email if you want a chance to win. Wish I could leave one myself.

You can find out more about Lisa and her work here
Website: www.lisaharriswrites.com

Blog: http://myblogintheheartofafrica.blogspot.com

If you're not lucky enough to win the giveaway or don't want to wait you can buy Dangerous Passage here

Buy Dangerous Passage on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Dangerous-Passage-Southern-Crimes-ebook/dp/B00CIUJWLI/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&sr=&qid=

Buy Dangerous Passage on Christian book.com http://www.christianbook.com/dangerous-passage-southern-crimes/lisa-harris/9780800721909/pd/721904?product_redirect=1&Ntt=721904&item_code=&Ntk=keywords&event=ESRCP

 

 

Originally published by Ark House Press, Streets on a Map has recently been released as an E book. It is available from Amazon. Dale also writes poetry and children’s fiction, and has written bible studies and Sunday school lessons. She is currently at work on another novel. More information about Dale can be found at www.daleharcombe.com or on her Write and Read with Dale blog http://www.livejournal.com/users/orangedale/

 

Shedding Light

Just as there are some people who make you feel good about yourself, there are others who, without saying a word, diminish you just by the type of person they are. Someone I know is extremely enthusiastic involved in community activities, friendly and talks easily to anyone. Yet I find this person so over the top that I am overwhelmed and end up shrinking in on myself whenever they are around. It’s not that I don’t like this person. I do and wish I could be more like her. It’s not the way God meant us to be, comparing ourselves with others. Yet she makes me feel inadequate. And it’s not even a conscious decision on my part. It just happens whenever we are in close proximity. Inadequacy and inferiority rears their ugly heads. It’s like this person sucks all the life and light out of me.

When it comes to light I admit to a fascination with lighthouses. Not that I would like to live in one. I’ve read a couple of books about it and it feels like an isolating experience. But there’s something about the whole concept of a lighthouse shining light into the darkness and being a beacon and warning to sailors of the dangers in the sea that presents a beautiful picture. Here is a photo of a lighthouse taken on a recent trip further down the south coast.

 

When I read the words of Jesus where He says ‘I am the light of the world,’ I tend to picture a lighthouse, standing tall and strong and straight, guiding people on the way with its shining light.

 

I’ve read a couple of books recently which have been amazing and yet disappointing in some ways. Largely in the language used and the way characters are presented.  While the story lines were interesting, it was a challenge to read books where the morals and language go against what I believe in.  However if the story line is compelling enough I will persevere despite my own reservations. That doesn’t stop me from commenting about what I perceive to be those negative aspects in a review though. You can find my reviews at Goodreads. This is one such review http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/17622847-three-hours-late?ac=1 and sometimes I post reviews on my blog. http://www.livejournal.com/users/orangedale/Other believers may choose a different option. They may choose to read only Christian fiction or only nonfiction. But none of us should stand in judgement on another believer if they choose differently.

When it comes to my own writing, I believe I am called to present a different perspective to that presented by the world. That doesn’t mean writing sugar coated stories where no-one has any problems, but writing realistically about the world and providing some hope. Those who are called to be followers of Jesus are called to be different. Therefore what we choose to write about and the way we write it is also called to be different, like a lighthouse shining a beacon in the darkness. Would you agree? What are you doing to shine a light in the darkness of this world?

Streets on a Map, is now available from Amazon as an E book. http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=streets+on+a+map+by+dale+harcombe Dale has had seven children’s books and Kaleidoscope a collection of poetry published. She has also written bible studies and Sunday school lessons. For several years she wrote about Christian living, marriage and home related topics More information about Dale can be found at www.daleharcombe.com or on her Write and Read with Dale blog  http://www.livejournal.com/users/orangedale/

Treasured Possessions

This week I felt down about the non fiction writing project I’ve been working on. It’s started to feel like the never-ending story and still nowhere near being ready to send it off to a publisher. Of course the enemy chose that particular moment to inveigle himself in my feelings and tell me it was pointless and it would make no difference even if I finished it and got it published.

Discouraged, I looked at the cork board above my desk. That cork board, with letters pinned on it, hangs every day above my desk. Most days I hardly glance up at it. But this day I looked up and my gaze fell on a letter written to me several years ago. The letter came from the mother of a child who had read my first children’s book Chasing after the Wind.

The girl had been given the book as a birthday present. Only one problem, the girl was not a reader.

In fact, she was one of those students in the remedial reading group who had to read to someone for ten minutes each day. Knowing she had to read something, she reluctantly started on Chasing after the Wind.The novel co-incidentally starts with a girl who struggles with reading and is in a similar situation to this reluctant reader, until she encounters a friend and a book that changes her life.

It wasn’t long before the girl, like Chelsea in the story, found just reading that ten minutes a day wasn’t enough. The story had captured her and pulled her in. Probably initially because she could so relate to Chelsea, the main character in the novel. Soon, the girl was reading it every spare moment, her mother told me. For her mother and grandmother who watched this transformation it was heady stuff as this was the first book this girl had ever ‘got her in.’

This family was so excited, not only did the girl write to me a beautiful letter but her mother did as well and her grandmother came to visit when she was in the area. Reading that letter from the girl’s mother gave me a warm glow inside. I went back to the project I was working on thinking if a children’s book had that big an impact on one life, then I needed to continue to be obedient to God in what I write and that includes the current project, which is not really my project but God’s.

I was overwhelmed with love for God and how He encouraged me when I was feeling down. But why should I be surprised at that? Just as those letters to me are treasured possessions, I am God’s treasured possession. So are you.

Don’t take my word for it though. We know this because His Word tells us so. Isaiah 49:16 says
‘ See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands.’ Although this was originally spoken to Israel, it is also to all of us, who are the new Israel, brought into God’s kingdom by the death of our Lord Jesus. The Father loved each one of us enough to send is only Son to die for you and for me. If that doesn’t encourage and motivate us to continue in obedience even when we are feeling down, then I don’t know what will.

Streets on a Map, Dale’s latest novel was published by Ark House Press. Prior to that, Dale has had seven children’s books and Kaleidoscope a collection of poetry published. Many poems in Kaleidoscope have been previously published in Australia’s literary magazines. She has also written bible studies and Sunday school lessons.More information about Dale can be found at www.daleharcombe.com or on her Write and Read with Dale blog http://www.livejournal.com/users/orangedale/

DEVOTION: Living Parables

Matthew 13:10,13 Jesus' disciples came to him and asked, "Why do you use nothing but stories when you speak to the people?"
[Jesus replied] "I use stories when I speak to them because when they look, they cannot see, and when they listen, they cannot hear or understand."

When our youngest went to school, my husband and I attended the first Parent Teacher Association (PTA) meeting with his teacher. I was amazed when he said, "If your child only wants to read comics, let him. At least he's reading." It was the first time I'd heard a teacher make such a recommendation.

By the time of this meeting, our oldest child had graduated to reading books without pictures, while the middle one enjoyed a book with the occasional illustration.The youngest still loved books with big, colourful drawings that he could examine while I read the words. All three loved story-time in the evenings. Their dad or I would sit on the bed and read them the story, while they clustered around on the bed or on the floor, listening intently. Whenever we came to a picture, we would stop to show it to them. Yet they all enjoyed comics, with their constant stream of elaborate pictures.

Today more and more churches use projectors to show pictures or even media-clips to help their congregations understand what the message is about. The illustrations hold their attention. They help the people understand what the speaker is saying.

How well Jesus knew his audience all those years ago. When he taught the crowds or even the disciples, He didn't have large pictures to hold up to illustrate his message. He didn't have PowerPoint. He had to rely on the power of words. And so he spoke in parables. He told stories that illustrated the points he wanted to make.

As writers we are encouraged to "Show, don't tell." Instead of saying, "The stove plate was hot," we show with our words: "Jenny yelped and jerked her hand away from the plate." Whether we write fiction or non-fiction, we are wise to make use of the power of story. We want to paint a picture in the minds of our readers, pictures so clear they will understand what we say.

Unfortunately, those around us are often like the crowds in Jesus' day. They "cannot hear or understand". So perhaps we need to take a lesson from Jesus. We need to show instead of telling.

As writers, we need to tell them stories they can visualise and use illustrations from modern-day society.

Yet surely the best picture of all can come from the way we live our lives. People close to us may not hear our words, but they will see the pictures we create from the way we behave, the things we say, and the example we set.

What is so fascinating about the comic book? Surely it's the continuous strip of pictures. Whether we like it or not, our lives are continuous strips of pictures. We show the world, one picture after another, what it's like to live as Christians. Will our life's comic book be one that the Greatest Teacher of all time wants people to read? Will He say, "If you don't want to read the Bible, watch that child of mine. At least you'll then you'll learn about the Christian life."

Prayer: Lord Jesus, please help us to live our lives like a comic book, one clear picture after another. Help us to show those who read us some of the fabulous truths in Your Word. Help us to be living stories to a world which often doesn't want to listen. 
We ask this in Your Holy Name. Amen. 

SHIRLEY CORDER  is an RN, a pastor’s wife and a mother who has read far more comics than her kids, but then she started before them. You can contact Shirley through her website or follow her on Twitter.