Learning to say ‘No’

One of the most valuable pieces of advice I was given as a new Christian was the importance of learning to say ‘no.’ My mentor went on to explain there will always be jobs that need doing and usually more jobs than people willing to do them. But.... if it is something God is not calling you to do and you take it on, firstly you won’t do as good a job as you ought and secondly you could be depriving the person who would be excellent in that position from doing it. While ever someone is doing a job, others can be often hesitant to volunteer.

Sometimes after prayer I have felt God calling me to a task I may feel ill equipped for. When this happens, I’ve found if I trust Him, He enables. Other times after prayer, I‘ve said ‘No’ to those things I don’t feel God is calling me to. But it is not always easy. People seem to have a problem with the word ‘no’ and want reasons why we don’t want take on a task or do something. We should be able to be honest with friends and acquaintances but it seem to me some people don’t handle honesty well.

My husband is a great one for no excuses, no apologies. He simply says ‘no.’ As he reminds me and as writer Anne Lamott also says in one of her books ‘No is a full sentence.’

But then people look at you and wait for explanations as to why, or worse still try and change your mind and tell you why you’d be so good at it, or why you’d enjoy that activity. Sometimes they may even pressure you by telling you ‘there is no-one else.’ I don’t believe that. If God has a task that needs doing, He will raise up the right person to do it.

Years ago my husband were involved in Sunday school and had been for many years. After our daughter was born and was around twelve months old, it became quite hard to get to church in the evening when she was tired. We were both teaching Sunday school in the morning. Rather than one go and one stay home with her, we decided the time had come to take a break from Sunday school teaching. We came in for a lot of criticism from one person.  However, our attitude was God was calling us out for a time and He would raise up others to do the job. And He did. After we stepped down, they ended up with more teachers in our section than they had ever had before.  You see, what this critical person forgot was, it is God’s work and God provides. But sometimes it means other people need to get out of the way and leave a vacancy for Him to fill.

Even in everyday situations that don’t involve ministry, saying 'no' can present problems.  A writing group I was involved in planned a day long craft day. While everyone sounded excited, I declined whereupon people insisted on telling me how I would love it etc. And anyone could do it.  I still said ‘no.’

Craft and me, do not belong in the same sentence. A day of craft related activity to me is a not relaxing but torture. Writing yes but, not things like any form of visual art, needlework, knitting and crochet, etc.  I admire those who do them and produce beautiful works. But they are not for me.

When younger, I spent a lot of time trying to make myself do such things because people expected it.  Now I no longer bother trying to make myself something I am not, but concentrate on those things I can do.

Should I make excuses as to why I can’t or don’t want to participate? To me that is dishonest. I’d rather be upfront and say 'while I realise it appeals to others, it is not my thing.' In that I am like Abby in Streets on a Map. But where her life revolved around singing, mine revolves around serving God in the ways I can, and yes that includes singing but only at church and bible study, husband and family, and writing. When it comes to relaxing, activities include, reading, crosswords, live theatre and watching footy. Have you noticed something? Apart from the footy they are all word related activities.

 So how do you handle it when people ask you to take on some ministry you don’t feel called to? Or they invite you to participate in an activity you don’t enjoy? Do you make excuses?  Do you suddenly invent another engagement on that day, if it’s something you want no part of? Or do you honestly tell them it is not your thing but you’d be happy to spend time together doing something you both enjoy? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

 

Streets on a Map, Dale’s latest novel was published by Ark House Press. Prior to that, Dale has had seven children’s books and Kaleidoscope a collection of poetry published. Many poems in Kaleidoscope have been previously published in Australia’s literary magazines. She has also written bible studies and Sunday school lessons.More information about Dale can be found at www.daleharcombe.com or on her Write and Read with Dale blog http://www.livejournal.com/users/orangedale

 

Home At Last

Over the past few weeks I have described my journey towards Christianity. I haven't included everything, particularly those events which were recounted to me by third parties. Members of my extended family have had many spiritual encounters ranging from "sensing" a presence in a room to actual physical contact. I don't want to scare anyone, but it is vital that we understand that the spiritual realm is a real place. The Bible makes it very clear that we "wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high [places]." Ephesians 6:12.

Just Like Me Equals Bo-oring

I recently attended a worship service in the Midwestern town where I went to college. The church was red brick with a tall, white steeple that rang out the hour of eleven. The high, spacious sanctuary was decorated in the American colonial style with padded pews and white balconies on three sides. A huge pipe organ dominated the front, playing the most gorgeous music.

The choir loft was full. Not a screechy soprano among them. They did a piece by John Rutter, one of my favorite contemporary composers. The congregation sang three classic hymns, followed by a content-rich sermon from 1 John. Despite having two services, the pews were so full that a few unfortunate late-comers had to be escorted to the front row beneath the pulpit.

I consider myself to be a traditionalist. After all, I was born mid-twentieth century. This service represented the best of what I grew up with. I should have fit in perfectly. So why did I come away disappointed?

I guess what I crave is blended worship. I love all three of the familiar hymns we sang. One was even sung at our wedding. But the most modern on this particular Sunday was a hundred and thirty years old. (The one I liked best was actually seventeenth century!) I’m frustrated when a church is so caught up in what is current that a praise song from the 1990s is considered too old-fashioned, but I am equally frustrated when worship doesn’t acknowledge that anything that lifts up God has been written in the last generation (or four!)

I got my first clue that maybe the church wouldn’t be what I wanted as I walked in from the parking lot. There were a variety of ages, but they all had my skin color. And all the women I saw wore skirts. Now, I was wearing a skirt, too—a comfortable cotton for a summer day. But you know what? I don’t want to go to church with a bunch of people just like me, who dress like me, have the same northern European ancestry, and love the same hymns I have sung since childhood. John Rutter gets to feeling pretty sweet and sappy after a while.

What does this have to do with Christian fiction? If we Americans have to have an American character in the story or we can’t identify, what does that say about our monocultural view of the Kingdom of God? Heaven is not going to be filled with people just like me. It is going to be filled with people who look different, speak differently, even smell different from me. We will be united by one Lord, one faith, one birth, not by one style of art or worship or dress. When I sing a contemporary praise song with a bit more beat than I grew up with, it reminds me that God is still at work in my world. When I sing in Spanish or Chinese, I remember that God’s Kingdom is drawn from every tribe and nation. When I sing a Latin choral piece like Mozart’s “Ave Verum Corpus”, I revel in being part of something so much bigger than my local congregation founded in 1964. The Church of Jesus Christ has been his Body on earth for two thousand years.

I want to challenge my fellow-American readers to look beyond the character that is “just like me” in international fiction and let the story take you into the world of someone who is different from you. International Christian fiction should open our eyes to something more than our own neighborhoods, thrusting us inside the skin of someone who has grown up with completely different values and expectations, who is meeting God in a unique way. It should shake us up and leave us uncomfortable. It should stretch us and expose us to our own prejudices and misconceptions as it reveals wholly different ways of thinking.

Thank you to my brothers and sisters on this blog who are writing stories that aren’t about Main Street, Midwest. Or even New York or LA. It’s a tough market out there, but I praise God that you are who you are. Keep up the effort! We need to hear your voices.

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LeAnne Hardy has lived in six countries on four continents. Her books for young people come out of her cross-cultural experiences and her passion to use story to convey spiritual truths in a form that will impact lives. You can find out more about her books and travel adventures on her website and blog.