On Leaving the Country.

By Marcia Lee Laycock

I was called an ex-patriot.  The phrase still makes my back hump like a cat's, in belligerent defence. The word screams of desertion, a pointing finger, whispers behind the back, a negativity that makes people stare. It makes me want to scream, "No!" I was leaving the country, but not "ex-ing" it! The thought of being called an "ex" brought out a zealous nationalism I didn’t realize I had. 

I was determined not to leave with negative thoughts of this country, though some  wondered at the time if there would be a Canada, as we know it, when I returned. I didn't spout criticisms from afar, nor shout expletives across the ocean. I was and am grateful for my nationality, for a home often rated " one of the best." I did not leave because of what I didn't like, but because it was time for a broader view, time to see from a different perspective, through a lens opened to panorama. It was time to live beyond, with the hope that when I returned the enrichment of the experience would return with me to enrich others.

They told me it would be "a wonderful experience" and they were right, but wonderful experiences don't come cheap. They cost. This one cost that comfortable Canadian feeling of knowing the seasons follow one on another, the trees always turn to gold, the rolling Alberta fields always ripen into harvest, there is always snow for Christmas and the garbage is always collected Thursday mornings. Such commonplace certainties were no more. They were replaced by a tropical sun, from which I had to hide, by rain that was not gentle, by a land that quivered with earthquakes every other day, by fly-ridden markets instead of IGA. 

These bits of foreign reality were, to some extent, anticipated. Those I did not expect were those which stirred me most profoundly - facing my own prejudices and sometimes a callousness I didn't think I had, and dealing with the callousness and prejudice of others. Truth often becomes glaringly obvious, once all that is familiar has been left behind. It was hard to anticipate, let alone welcome, such possibilities. But I prayed for the grace to receive them and found it was there, as well as the wisdom to learn from them.

They told me I would never be the same, and again, they were right. I was changed by living in a strange and foreign land. My view of myself, of Canada, of the world, and even of my God, did not remain the same, but I was determined, and I did not, live as an "ex-patriot." 

I will always carry with me the stamp of the place from whence I came and I will sing my country's praises - albeit with a polite Canadian voice.  And perhaps, after being away, the voice has become just a bit more zealous.

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Marcia Lee Laycock writes from central Alberta Canada where she is a pastor's wife and mother of three adult daughters. She was the winner of The Best New Canadian Christian Author Award for her novel, One Smooth Stone. Her second novel, A Tumbled Stone was recently short listed in the contemporary fiction category of The Word Awards. Marcia also has two devotional books in print. Her work has been endorsed by Sigmund Brouwer, Janette Oke, Phil Callaway and Mark Buchanan. 

Abundant Rain, an ebook devotional for writers can be downloaded here. 

Visit Marcia’s Website