When I get the honour of writing for this blog, I never know whether to stick to writing topics, or personal GOD stuff. Everyone here who is a member of this blog, they are writing. Like, all the time. They talk about how awesome it is, how GOD is encouraging them and showing them new things and using old ideas and how they are witnessing cool stuff as they write, talk about writing, publishing etc...
Yeah, I've got nothing.
Sorry, that wasn't correct. I'm teaching language to my eleven year old so...
I don't have anything to write about.
I've wondered if maybe the members-in-charge have thought about letting me go, but they are too polite and kind to do so. So...this is their out, if they'd like me to go until I start writing again. I just don't have the time. I'm still trying to figure out some kind of routine so life makes sense. All I know is, that right now life doesn't make sense. So, instead of talking about writing, let's go the personal GOD stuff.
I belong to a bible study. Well, it's not really a bible study because at the moment we aren't studying the bible, we are doing the Focus on the Family DVD thingy that I can't remember the name of. There are a lot of people packed into that living room. I'm embarrassed to say that we finally went last week, and it was session three...oops. I don't want to talk about what we watched, instead I want to tell you how I seem to start talking like a dribbling fool whenever I open my mouth.
Does that ever happen to you?
I like to think of myself as educated. Not illustriously educated, because even though I attended three universities and one college, I have obtained only one degree. In Forestry. Still, I remember how to use words that are more than three syllables and I express myself most meticulously when I am angry (my poor husband). However...
At the bible study, a question was asked if married couples ever did devotions together or separately.
My mind was whirring with excellent answers on how to convey my personal reasons behind why I did not care to. Specifically, that I felt my time with the Lord, was MY time and I didn't care to share any revelations with my husband until I had thoughtfully chewed on what exactly GOD was telling me.
So, I put my hand up a little, and began speaking when there was a lull.
"I prefer to have my own time with GOD, because whenever hubby is like, 'Hey, let's pray right now', I'm all like, what? No way, man, I'm a petulant child and you can't tell me what to do, dude."
I am so eloquent.
You can just imagine the crowd's reaction to my carefully planned words. I'm sorry to say, this happens frequently.
I have discovered that sometimes, I am only any good at expressing myself as though I were a surfer from the 80's, who just wants to hang ten and then chill after.
Why is that?
I think I can tell you why. Yes, after all this blather, I can tell you why.
GOD needs to be personal. It makes me absolutely bonkers to hear people go on and on using words like; blessings, loved-on, praying about it, GOD told me...
Please excuse me if I have offended you. I'm not done explaining.
I came to a point in my life where after having been 'church-jaded' that I am tired of the flowing hymns and flowery prayers, and the same words over and over again, same prayers, same words, same words, same words...and they don't mean anything. They mean emptiness and because you held your hands up and said, Amen, during most of the sermon, I feel even more empty because I couldn't hear anything over your cacophonous mumbling. I wonder if other people feel the same way?
So to make GOD more personal and effective for me, I call Him, Dude. When I ask Him for help 'cause I'm freakin' out, He tells me to chill and just breathe for a minute because I'm making a mess. When I'm walking on the farm and I see the clouds, I say, "Dude. Look at that. YOU did that. You're so awesome. Look at all your talent. Thanks, Man". And He's like, "Yup. I'm the bomb. And you're righteous for loving Me".
This works better for us.
I've been following this blogger, Jamie the Very Worst Missionary. She's a pastor's wife in California, with three grown teenagers and she swears sometimes and she's a mess sometimes, but she is so right. I found her by accident and I was like, Yes! That's exactly how I feel! And then a tiny part of me wonders if I'm being blasphemous.
At the same time, I love listening to Ravi Zacharias . He is ridiculously educated and I love how plainly he speaks, yet evoking all of the intelligence required to explain. And of course there are the Insight For Living links and Joyce Meyer bits on the radio.
I'm not sure what my point is in this post. I guess it would be that; a) I don't speak well to others, b) I love the vibes between me and GOD and c) be yourself.
There shouldn't be pomp and circumstance when talking to GOD. But remember not to be a jerk to Him, because that's just rude. He deserves a lot of respect and given He's going to be taking care of you, you could be more grateful than sniveling.
"For there is no partiality with GOD." (Romans 2:11)
Jenn Kelly is...not writing. But she thinks you're very pretty and smart.