Thursday, August 21, 2014

Drowning in Writer's Nightmare


The writer was drowning in syllables, metaphors, apostrophes, commas and phrases. Arms swung crazily. Legs splashed faster and faster as she fought to stay afloat. Mountainous waves of words just kept rising up and dumping on her. This was desperate stuff.
What had caused this frightening tsunami of overwhelming paragraphs, unedited sentences and putrid punctuation to surge with such ferocity? It must have been an earthquake that moved her out of her writer contentment and control. The one time mistress of the household and writing schedules now struggled to stay afloat.  

The picture of author bliss had been shattered. The daily order usually managed by detailed list making  began to fall apart. She had already checked blogs she followed, shared on those important social media sites where she just had to let readers know about her published books. Next were dozens of emails, some still unread from the previous busy day. Only half way through them –and wham! An urgent one.  A very important workshop she was presenting at a conference had problems. It needed an answer immediately before getting back to creating her characters and their story.   

The filing cabinet drawer refused to open smoothly to find the information needed. The phone rang. A fellow writer needed help - or just to connect with another writer at a difficult time after receiving a rejection for her latest manuscript. While at last typing her response to the urgent email, the door bell rang. A new neighbour had taken up her offer of a visit.  By the time she left after tea and scones, the mistress of her world was foundering, but at last the house was quiet. The emails were dealt with, peace reigned so work started on that neglected new manuscript. The “To Do”  list was now only in slight disarray, the schedule almost under control again.  

Another earthquake viciously shook her world of words. This time a simple thing. A severe headache. The “To Do” list fell apart. The schedule became a millstone. House to clean, family to feed, reviews to write and another book under contract needing final editing surged over her. She struggled to swim in the ocean of despair. She forgot to save her hard work. The computer crashed. The waves pounded her brain harder. Tears flowed. Anxiety rose. Uncertainty swept over her.  

Arms and legs weakened. The tide started to drag her out into deeper water. What was going to happen to all those urgent things she still had to do?

The alarm sounded.

I sprang upright. My lungs gasped for the morning air. Only a dream -a nightmare.
Or was it?

Could it have been a portent of an impending floodtide in my writing and family life?
Was my heart telling me something about priorities and the authority to say “no?”
Am I my own worst enemy when it comes to fulfilling my God given calling?
Does my enjoyment in doing so many “important” things rob me of achieving the very best I can in fewer things God wants me to be involved with?  

I have to ask myself, “Am I riding the waves of my life or being drowned in a tsunami of ‘busyness’ over my soul?”

I need to make a new list. At the very top has to be, “Spend more time alone in the scriptures and prayer to let God make the list, show me His priorities and strengthen me to do His will. That will most likely mean putting a line through even things loveable, likeable as well as lousy activities which create a tsunami capable of swallowing the time I have to fulfil His gift of my Minister of Writing. 

“O Lord Save me! Deliver me from those out of control activities that take me from doing what You have planned for me.
Help me to master them through priority and wisdom, authority and grace.
I want to be the best I can be in the ‘ocean’ of life you have given me to swim in.
Let me honour you in that which I am and what I do, whether it is much or little in the eyes of others.”

P.S.  “Thanks for the dream, Lord!”              

Mary Hawkins is a best-selling inspirational romance author who for many years has enjoyed being a minister’s wife in Australia, two years in England and on three short term mission teams to Africa. Her first novel was released in 1993 by Barbour Publishing in their Heartsong Presents imprint. She is delighted that all her Barbour Publishing backlist are available again as e-books through their Truly Yours Digital Editions. And yes, she is still working on other manuscripts - as time permits.


SO, HOW ARE YOU SWIMMING AND SURFING THE WAVES OF LIFE TODAY. DO SHARE IT WITH US ON A COMMENT.

15 comments:

  1. Oh What a nightmare. Glad it didn't actually happen, Mary but obviously a great warning.It's all so easy to get swamped with everyday life situations isn't it?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It sure is, Rita, and I've fallen into that trap. I have been too busy to write this post for ICFW, like the blog posts Ray writes, so asked for his help. He came up with the idea of a dream. Perhaps it was because he saw me a few days ago when I was feeling rather overwhelmed. I made a list of what I am involved in doing right now. The horrific length of those three columns - Writing, Church/Family and House - should have given me a nightmare and why I know I have to take them all specifically to the Lord. Don't be surprised if I disappear off several writer's internet blogs and social media!

      Delete
  2. Hi Mary,
    Oh dear, that tsunami sounds like something we may all be a little familiar with. Sometimes organisation has little to do with it. I had to smile while reading this. Just yesterday, one of my distractions came from a teenage daughter who said, "Mum, you have to read over this essay right now please! My teacher wants it this afternoon and I've only just written it. Help!"
    We can definitely spread ourselves too thin if we're not careful.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And those kind of interruptions do need to take priority, Paula. Trouble is to keep some time available so we can be there for our families.

      Delete
  3. Oh, Mary--I could feel the tension rising in me even as I read your description of your nightmare! Sounds very wise to me to take note of what God might be saying to you--and all of us--through it all. Just this morning, I received an almost last minute request to speak at church on Sunday, so, like Paula, I smiled as I dropped my writing project and instead turned my mind in an entirely different direction. Sometimes it's right to do that--but sometimes it's good to say no too, Mary! God bless.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I too love speaking and sharing Christ with others and recently couldn't resist accepting an invitation to speak at a meeting. It was a real blessing to me as I delved into the Word to prepare it - perhaps even more so than to those I shared it withI However, other tasks and commitments had to be rearranged and all added to the busyness of my life. I am just so very thankful God's grace gives strength and directions - when I'm listening to Him and obedient of course.

      Delete
  4. Great reminder, Mary. Thank you. However, I must admit there are times when I wish I was drowning in great words, sentences & paragraphs rather than the sun shower that is my normal situation.

    Our flesh/humanness is always seeking to corrupt us and surrendering ourselves to the Lord each day (and often repeatedly during it) is all part of learning to abide in Him, isn't it? Easier said than done, too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So very true, Ian. I find that sometimes I try to cram things into my days that I really enjoy instead of asking Him for direction first.
      I am just so glad for the promise of Roms8:28. He DOES work all things out for good for those who love Him and are called according to HIS purpose. The Lord is so full of love and grace that He takes even those times we say "yes" instead of His "no" and still works out His will in and through us. And yes, as hard as it is sometimes, being rooted in Him and abiding each moment sure is the key.

      Delete
  5. I'm sure we can all identify with your nightmare Mary, only sometimes when we wake up, we weren't asleep! Thanks for the reminder.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've kept hoping the "seasons" of life will change so no more - well headaches if not actual nightmares! Life just doesn't seem to work like that, does it? LOL.

      Delete
  6. Great picture of how my days feel to me. I have my eldest son and his family living with my husband and I . He and his wife are in college full-time. Add to that three girls under five, and two more adult children with their dogs and my house can feel, not to mention look like a tsumunia hit it. My to-do-list rarely gets completed before more is added. And my writing time sometimes get sucked up with vacuuming and cleaning the bathroom. I work part-time leaving even less time for writing. But I persevere, encouraged by posts like yours as I start each day with great expectation and end them grateful for the unexpected.
    Thanks for sharing.
    Cindy Huff

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow, Cindy, you sure are having a tough time. I'm guessing we all have times of writing frustrations but I know we can only persevere as God meets our every need day by day - in fact, hour by hour some days. I am just so thankful that HE is always our faithful God, even when we have no strength left ourselves. In fact, I think those are the times we look back on and recognise just how much He was there with us working all the time. I cling to the promise in Romans 8:28 and have proved more times than I can count that HE does work it all out "for good".

      Delete
  7. Thanks for that Mary. I can sometimes relate to that nightmare. It's easy to get caught up in all the little things and then suddenly the tasks God wanted you to focus on can get pushed aside. Thanks for the reminder to prioritize.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Over the years I've called my husband, Ray, The Priority Man. Perhaps he realised very early in our married life how hard I found it to say "No"? And as much as I've tried too, Nola, I too can still get up in those little things that fill my time too much. And an example is now to get off this internet, including Facebook, and finish clearing the piles of paperwork besides this computer. :-(

    ReplyDelete
  9. Mary, great post! Although, you could have said it was a real day and I would have totally believed you! Your generous heart and desire to help others shines through your dreams as well as real life :)

    ReplyDelete