Does God care about the stories on our hearts?
Like many who read this blog, I’ve been seriously writing for ten years. Although some of my writing has been published in places that has blessed others spiritually, I’m still waiting for that contract with a traditional house that will actually pay me in cold, hard cash. Will the day ever come when I experience the thrill of seeing the glossy cover of my first novel in print? Steady on, oh beating heart.
But each time I think—the pursuit of a writing career isn’t meant for me. I should just hang up my proverbial ‘writing’ skates—the Lord does something to say, “No way, kiddo, I never said stop writing.”
Last November, events triangulated in my life so that I felt financially I could afford to take a year off from the dratted day job. I gleefully rubbed my hands, pumped to work solely on that oh-so-marketable novel that was going to BREAK IN.
Then…gasp…I felt the Lord say, I want you to put aside that fictional work that means so much to you, and write a story that is on my heart. And then His still small voice said, “Will you trust me enough, child?”
A very worthy but young Christian organization needed someone to write their story, but did not have the funds to pay for it. Would I trust the Lord enough to provide for my household’s need’s while I completed this assignment non-gratis? In other words, would I trust God to pay my wages? But perhaps deeper in the sinews of my heart I felt the yank—would I trust God with the desire of my writer’s heart?
The tug of this ministry’s story was too strong to ignore. How could any writer resist the adventures of modern-day missionaries, the testing of God’s power, fulfilling feats of faith? I sure couldn’t. I threw my financial needs into the lap of my heavenly father and set hard to work. Besides, what’s more important than helping people preach the gospel of Christ to the world? Life is too short to worry about building greater metaphorical barns and houses for myself…or even writing the Great American Christian Novel.
Seven months later, I’m 2/3rd’s of the way through this non-fictional work. Oh there are days I chomp at the bit to get back to my fictional world that glimmers on the horizon. My writer’s hunger gnaws when I see my peers signing a publishing contract. I massage those aching twinges of jealousy when another peer receives an award. I fight back that jealousy, and with God’s love clap my hands loudly, and yell out—online of course—“Author, Author”.
But as I tithe my writing gift by prioritizing this non-fictional work, God has taken my breath way with His provision. Someone once said you can never out-give God.
And folks, I do not share this with pride but humility, because I know many of you tithe your writing gift too. But from one writer to another, I’m wearing my heart of my sleeve to encourage that someone that may fret now and then—should I give up.
It doesn’t make any logical sense that while I’m not bringing in a ‘proper’ wage, that God in these last few months has eliminated ALL my household debt, lowered my monthly household expenses by the intricate transaction of our house sale. And from the office window in my new house, I look out on rolling pastures, mountains, and trees that couldn’t be more conducive to a writer’s imagination. I sit in my new office and sense the Lord has placed me in a setting so that I can fulfill the desires of my heart.
I took great care last November to not make any bargains with God as I committed to this task. I’ve been through enough life to know the Lord doesn’t barter for our faithfulness. He asks, and waits for our obedience. All I knew at the time was that He would provide what I needed...if I trusted.
Only thing is, He is such a wonderful father, and has given me more than I ever dreamed. How can I not continue to trust Him with the desires of my writer’s heart?
To read more about my writing journey, and the non-fictional book I'm currently writing, drop by and visit me at www.christinelindsay.com